Tuesday, July 21, 2020

Feeling like a failure

My violin lessons have been going really well.  Unfortunately, it's pointed out how much I was playing the violin WRONG!  Yes, I was basically playing properly.  But, my notes were off.  Some notes I was playing flat instead of neutral.  Others I was playing sharp when I shouldn't be.  So, I made notations in all of the songs I usually play only to find that now I'm fumbling over the notes and playing them all improperly.

I feel like a failure.  A fraud.

*sigh*  I need to get over myself.  I am a decent violin player.  I just need to get used to playing certain notes properly.  It's hard, but then again it's the violin.  It's not intended to be easy.  I picked this instrument in the 4th grade because I thought it would be challenging.  It is.  I just wish that my former teachers, way back when, had taught me not to make the mistakes I'm making now.

I need to tell myself the same thing I've told my children countless times: I'm not a failure, I just need practice.

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